The other woman recently and unexpectedly passed away. She was only 26.

She was also, however, the biological mother of the child, and almost predictably, the biological grandmother is holding the kid hostage, planning to move her to FLORIDA! I asked the client whether there was a will, a cohab agreement, a family continuation plan, a civil union in another state — anything that would indicate the permanence and stability of a family. Only a medical power of attorney.

This sad, terrible story was entirely preventable. A couple thousand dollars spent on a lawyer when she was alive, and this could have been completely avoided. Now, it will be MANY thousands of dollars. Worse still, the emotional cost will be overwhelming.

So let me be clear. Same sex couples ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE plans in place — at the VERY least an advance medical directive. Where there are kids involved, you need a will that spells out who should have custody. The best thing to do is for the non-biological parent to adopt.

I am so sorry for her. My heart is full of sadness.